Life is short.

And you live only once. When it is done, you are done.

There are no extra lifes. This is no video-game, there are no cheats, no tricks, no trainers.

Today I've got the scary news of a girl that killed herself. She had worked before at my former job, the one owned by my uncle.

It is totally weird. Even if I lost totally the will to live, even if I felt there was no hope. I guess it would be very difficult to suicide.

Actually I have plans if I get so hopeless, but none of my plans include suicide. I could pack my stuff and disappear. I could enter a Buddhist Monastery... Maybe I would even enter some sort of mental institution (hehe). But never I'd forfeit my only life.

I guess this "you live only once" attitude I developed is a big lifesaver. I don't need to destroy my life because I don't like it. It is already destroyed in a sense. All I must do is find another starting point and try again.

You don't live twice, you don't ressurect in a baby, you don't go to heaven, nor hell.

There is no heaven nor hell. Actually there is, but it is inside yourself.

That's why I live in Nirvana. Or rather, I am Nirvana.Nirvana is not heaven. It is peace and the knowledge of this unbelievable clockwork called the Universe. We all are Nirvana because we are all part of the engine. There is no god except when you believe one exists, and it exists only inside yourself then.

That's what makes my life so rich, so colorfull, so happy. I love myself. Now please don't get me wrong. I don't mean I am one sick guy full of pride. There is pride, but my self-love is more like being self-aware. And being aware of myself is what makes me happy.

I'm feeling back in time. About 2 months, take or give a few days.

I just deleted all my work in my actual project. I got that nice feeling of letting go, letting roll and going down the rollercoaster.

Of course I'll have to redo everything again. Just for the fun of it.

You can say it is code refactoring in the most radical sense of computer science methodology.

Sweet nights ahead.
There is Pure Happiness, easy, cheap, strong and extremely addictive.

Listen to the Beat. Feel the Groove. Hear the Scream Inside Your Soul.

Take it deep thru your ears. Let it resonate inside your mind, your heart.

Become the extension of the music. Feel the vibe.

I love the feeling when music rapes my ears. Demanding attention, driving me away. Swirling my thoughts.

Need fuel to do something? Put some good beats in the background. Follow the lead.

The sad man knows not what good music is.

Oh, another lonely day, in this lonely week.

Solitude fills my heart, longing for her sweet lips.

Un-dreaming, Un-awake, unknowing where I am, what I am.

Suffering the long week, on a monday afternoon.

This is going to be a very long week.

And a very lonely one, by the way.

With my girlfriend visiting her grandma, I will have plenty of time for myself. The curious thing is that I already have plenty of time for myself. That's the insomnia real gift.

So, maybe I'll grow a beard, stop bathing, let my hair grow... ah, the lovely troglodyte way of living.

Junk food, good beer, lots of movies (of all kinds)...

My amazement with computers never end.

It seems that I'm getting even more dependent on them. Maybe it is the price I pay for knowing them so much.