Life is short.
And you live only once. When it is done, you are done.
There are no extra lifes. This is no video-game, there are no cheats, no tricks, no trainers.
Today I've got the scary news of a girl that killed herself. She had worked before at my former job, the one owned by my uncle.
It is totally weird. Even if I lost totally the will to live, even if I felt there was no hope. I guess it would be very difficult to suicide.
Actually I have plans if I get so hopeless, but none of my plans include suicide. I could pack my stuff and disappear. I could enter a Buddhist Monastery... Maybe I would even enter some sort of mental institution (hehe). But never I'd forfeit my only life.
I guess this "you live only once" attitude I developed is a big lifesaver. I don't need to destroy my life because I don't like it. It is already destroyed in a sense. All I must do is find another starting point and try again.
You don't live twice, you don't ressurect in a baby, you don't go to heaven, nor hell.
There is no heaven nor hell. Actually there is, but it is inside yourself.
That's why I live in Nirvana. Or rather, I am Nirvana.Nirvana is not heaven. It is peace and the knowledge of this unbelievable clockwork called the Universe. We all are Nirvana because we are all part of the engine. There is no god except when you believe one exists, and it exists only inside yourself then.
That's what makes my life so rich, so colorfull, so happy. I love myself. Now please don't get me wrong. I don't mean I am one sick guy full of pride. There is pride, but my self-love is more like being self-aware. And being aware of myself is what makes me happy.